There are varying levels of busyness and a type of busy person associated with each, but have you ever wondered why some people can handle what’s on their plate while others’ plates spin out of control?
How is it possible that there are single mums working demanding downtown careers with businesses on the side, and doing it all so effortlessly; and then there are bachelor(ettes) with less demanding jobs and no other responsibilities, who can’t seem to keep their head?
We all know one, but the question is…
Which type of busy person are you?
1. The Martyr
Y’all know who I’m talking about. This type of busy person complains that they have SO many things to do, but have you ever noticed they refuse to accept a helping hand? You all but lose your fingers if you offer! The Martyr would rather be crucified than give up something on their list. It would be a sacrilege to do so… Scratch that. It would be a sin to give anything up. It would BE giving up.
The irony of this busy person is that they complain 24/7, play the “woe is me” and “no one understands me” card. Worse yet, in spite of their incessant complaining they take on EVEN MORE things to do! This type of busy person has no idea how to say NO; their reputation as a capable person is on the line, so God-forbid they give something up!
The mind of the Martyr is one of heavenly reward. The more they do, the more they achieve, the more capable they appear and the more worthy and valuable they feel. The spiral is so tight that this type of busy person becomes a glutton for punishment. They are FULLY aware that a whole bucket of heavenly hash ice cream is too much, but they crave and overindulge despite the irrationality of their reality. Again, nobody knows the burden they carry.
2. The Hero
This type of busy person wears their checklist of achievements like a medal of honour. They’ve been through the trenches, survived two World Wars and they’re not done yet. For The Hero, being busy is an achievement of the highest order. Without it, the Hero does not know who they are, and all of their worth stems from the praise of medal-wearing. The rest of us “oooh” and “ahhh” and ask them how they do it, while inside, this type of busy person doesn’t know either!
Through our “I don’t know how you do it” comments, we are feeding The Hero’s ego and fueling their self worth. Without a thousands things on the go, this type of busy person would be forced to reflect inward and if I were to take a guess, they may not like what they find. In this situation, “being busy” is a shield that protects The Hero from their own inward reflection. Ouch.
3. The Ditz
This type of busy person is so go-go-go that they seem to have developed amnesia. The Ditz is almost always over-enthused by your invitation to hang out that they all but forget to write down the event.
The Ditz tries to keep all their fingers in the honey pot and suffer from a severe case of FOMO (fear of missing out) or what Psychologists call loss aversion. So much so, The Ditz DOES miss out entirely! The trouble lies in that this type of busy person is such a generous, loving person, and kind-hearted soul that similar to The Martyr, they have troubles saying NO.
When this type of busy person realizes they’ve dropped the ball they become flustered, embarrassed and ashamed. By nature, the Ditz is so loving that it genuinely goes against their nature to intentionally hurt another person, but nevertheless, they do.
It’s yet another example of the cyclical process of being busy that not only harms relationships but the busy person them self. This type of busy person not only feels they let someone else down, but themselves as well.
Built from forgetfulness can be just as potent as shame from malice.
4. The Flapper
This type of busy person is the dictionary definition of chaos. Everything is a catastrophe, and nothing is their fault. Similar to someone living out of the victim mindset, where life just happens to them, The Flapper can’t seem to take flight. They fight hard and passionately but have no direction to channel it all towards. Like a literal flapping bird, they struggle to take off and never fly off into the sunset – free and easy.
The Flapper loves to story-tell. They thrive off the the drama they both create and attract into their lives. Without the story and Hollywood style chaos, like The Hero, this type of busy person is able to avoid the time and space to truly look at themselves in the mirror. For the Flapper, losing the drama and story means losing their identity — they have always been known as the dynamic, active and outgoing kind. Without their storytelling demeanor, The Flapper feels less distinct and unique — another major blow to this type of busy person.
And if I’m honest.. this person secretly LOVES the drama.
5. The Dodger
The Dodger is the type of busy person who uses the phrase ” I’m busy” to hide from what their heart truly feels they should do. For example, they were busy people alright: 10 loads of laundry, complete overhaul and detail of their truck, 3 seasons of Game of Thrones, re-arranged their entire kitchen and 10 posts on Instagram later.
YES, this person was busy, but what they didn’t tell you was that they had an assignment due in three days or that they have bank/doctor appointments to book and attend? In short: is The Dodger busy with the RIGHT things for them? The Dodger will do everything else under the sun, than the things they need to do. Why? Avoidance. They are avoiding something that has more meaning than 3 seasons of Game of Thrones (trust me, there IS something more important).
There are so many nuances and similarities between the types of busy people that exist in our world. What’s important to remember is that busyness can manifest itself in a variety of ways — be it complaining/gloating or avoiding.
The key component that all self-proclaimed “busy people” share is their need to justify their actions to you. The real question is WHY?
It’s a great question; one best left to another post, but for now…
I challenge you to keep careful watch over the times you feel busy and ask yourself:
- Is this a priority right now?
- Is this task what needs to happen now?
- What do I stand to lose if I do not complete this task?